BROWNIE'S BLOG: WHAT IT IS LIKE WORKING AT THE COALFACE OF A PROFESSION FRAUGHT WITH DANGER

By Damian Browne | Wednesday, October 9, 2019

Blogs don’t come with much more personal, raw honesty than you get in Brownie’s Blog this week. Brownie’s Blog is the weekly blog of multiple Group 1 winning jockey Damian Browne who really has to be commended for sharing his thoughts so openly and candidly on one of the most difficult subjects to in racing … trying to put into words what is like working at the coalface in a profession so fraught with danger.

From physical injuries to mental scars, from gung-ho young riders with a lot to learn to those who might have lost their nerve … along with the trauma that jockey’s families and friends might be faced with any time a jockey gets a leg-up on a horse. It is all there … laid bare. It is a painful account merely in the telling. You can only imagine what it takes to live it. It is Brownie’s hope that through the experiences he has endured during his career, he will be able to help others. As you will see in the closing, that offer of help is there to anybody who needs it. This is Brownie’s Blog – exclusive to HRO

With the two riders coming down at Toowoomba on Sunday and then the dramatic four horse fall at Doomben on Monday the subject of jockeys living with danger on a daily basis is once again very much in focus.

I have been there … although it has to be said that dealing with the threat of the dangers involved is a personal matter and will differ with each individual. Everybody is different. It is a very sensitive subject and what follows is my opinion on the way I dealt with everything … and my opinion alone. I can’t talk for anybody else.

Unfortunately, I’ve seen a few different angles of the dangers involved during my time. I had some bad falls and suffered from the bad injuries that came with them. I have been in races where riders have been killed.

The old saying, ‘you’ve got to get back on the horse’ is never more prevalent than in our industry. If you are off too long you might have too much time to think about it and it is important to get back on the horse as soon as you can.

Depending on how long you have been off, it is probably only natural to worry about things a little bit to start off with but after you’ve had a ride or two that worry is pushed back into the back of your mind and that is where you have got to leave it if you can.

That doesn’t mean you trivialise the dangers. You have to be aware of them … but at the same time you do have to put them to one side and concentrate on the job at hand.

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I’ve been very fortunate when I have had falls and injuries that I had very good people around me who lent their support.

My wife Kim has given me unwavering support but I do know that in her heart, because of the danger element, she would have liked me to give away my riding many years ago.

The point being that, for all of the focus and strong mindset required to deal with all that might happen to you or your fellow riders, you simply cannot be successful as a jockey without the support of family and close friends.

They in turn have to live with their fears of the dangers adding just another thing to the list that jockeys have to deal with … the worries they put their families through.
I guess I can even claim to know a little bit of what families and friends might go through as well now since I am not riding anymore … not that it is a pleasant experience.

I watched the Doomben meeting from home on Monday and, when the fall happened, the noise I made … well, everybody came running from every part of the house to see if I was alright.

I felt absolutely sick inside. At that stage I didn’t know who it was and exactly what had happened because it all happens so fast but I really felt physically sick.

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During my career, I’ve been in races where I’ve seen something like half a dozen deaths … five or six … and that is obviously five or six too many.

The bottom line is every single jockey who gets on a horse knows what can happen. They all know that but nobody can dwell on that danger aspect and, subconsciously, something clicks into place which allows then to deal with it.

If they do start to dwell on it … if that concern becomes part of their mental makeup … they shouldn’t be riding. That is when accidents will happen. It is tough to do sometimes but danger simply can’t be allowed to play on your mind.

When somebody is starting to react to the danger element they will be noticed. Comments in the jockey room will the talk about somebody ‘having the shits’ … that’s what they call it when somebody is becoming scared.

Again, only the individual themselves know if they are at that stage or not. When they do get to that stage there is not much anybody can do about it … it’s only natural in a way … but that is when you have to consider stopping riding … bearing in mind that it is not only your safety involved, but that of others as well.

As I say, when you are thinking too much about it, that is when accidents happen.

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Now I really want this to come across in the right context … so I hope you take it as it is intended.

In my opinion, it is not necessarily a bad thing for young riders to have a fall of some sorts (obviously without serious injury to horse or rider).

The reason I say that is, for some young riders, until that happens (even knowing that it can happen) the true level of the danger of the sport and the responsibility jockeys have in terms of safe riding might be lost on them.

After a fall they will be more careful and by being more careful they will be exercising the sort of due care for the safety of other riders that they need to exhibit.

You see some young kids … now, and going back many years … going places in a race where they shouldn’t be going and you think if they knew better, they would know not to go there.

That is not always due to inexperience. It is sometimes due to a bravado which needs a wakeup call. They have got to understand that sometimes they are just being silly and it is going to hurt if they fall or cause other riders to fall.

Respecting the safety of all riders as a jockey is so important. It is not just your own life at stake. You are taking the lives of the jockeys of however number of other horses there are in the race into your hands.

And no, I’m not advocating that it would be good to see apprentices falling off racehorses. Nothing like that at all.

I am pointing out though that, in real terms, having a fall can be a vital ingredient in a steep and sometimes harsh learning curve that all apprentices have to go through.

I do think that, ultimately, they get up the better for it!

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Some moments are particularly difficult to deal with and they can stay with you for a long time.

In one instance, some thirty years ago now, I was an apprentice at the trials when a rider was killed and I was blamed for it. That would be a tough thing to deal with for anybody, but as a young man in those times it was very hard to deal with.

It is something I haven’t really talked about a lot for obvious reasons really. They didn’t have videos of trials in those days which they have nowadays. If they had, I know the video would have shown me to completely innocent and cleared me of any blame.

That was bad enough and then, three or four months later, I actually won a race named in honour of the person who had died and his parents wouldn’t give me the trophy.

As I say, I was only an apprentice at the time so you can imagine it was a pretty hard situation to go through.

These days you see the falls as they happen. It is horrible to see when there is a bad fall and it is even worse when someone is ruled to have been to blame for it after stewards have viewed the abundance of evidence available these days (videos from different angles etc).

Jockeys don’t do it on purpose and they have to live with that. It is not a nice thing for anyone to have to go through.

The personal story I’ve just told had an extreme ending and it has stayed with me forever. The only reason I bring it up now is that I know there are riders out there who are affected by falls and injuries that happen to them and their fellow riders and I want them to know that I am not talking from one side of the fence.

I’ve been on both sides of the fence and if any young riders out there need talk to somebody who has been through what they might be going through themselves I’m happy if they get my phone number and give me a call.

I’d be very happy to help where I can.

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